2019 was in full swing and I needed to find a challenge. What should it be? It had to challenge me physically. After all, I want my body to keep working, to keep fighting. It can’t just give up on me!
I decided to hike the West Highland Way. 154 kilometres from Milngavie near Glasgow up to the Gateway of the Highlands in Fort William. Just me and mother nature! I quickly fell in love with the idea. I bought books, did all the research, and even marked the dates in my calendar. Autumn 2019 – about one year after experiencing the first symptoms. I also decided, not to let the illness drag me down until I had time to process everything while on the West Highland Way.
Whenever I mentioned my illness during conversations, I always got the same reaction:
"Oh shit! I'm so sorry to hear that. How are you?"
How am I? I mean, I feel fine! I am dealing with the slight loss of feeling in my left hand. At least there is no pain. Pain was something that had been accompanying me for years. Ever since tearing my cruciate ligament in 2008, I had a pain in my knee. Only through targeted training and weight reduction (unfortunately far too little and not sustainable) during the Fitness Challenge in 2017 was I able to relieve it somewhat. So yes, I am fine! It seemed like the diagnosis was affecting everyone around me more than myself. I guess suppression and self-preservation were in full swing. I planned to deal with that on the 10-day trip. I was going to buy a notebook and write down my thoughts, worries and fears for my future –a couple of lines every evening. And at the end, when I arrived in Fort William, I was going burn the book. Sounds like a plan to me!
October was still so far away and I wanted to do something before then. Something I could work towards. I didn’t really need to prepare for 10 days of hiking. So, I had to come up with another challenge. By chance, my now wife wanted to take part in a local charity event. The aim was to raise money for a foundation that supports cancer patients in the region. On the day of the event, the participants cycle 15.3 km up a mountain. 1’240 metres elevation gain! Some crazy people cycle the route several times, others cycle it once, and still others run instead.
So that was it – lets stick it to cancer! The f***ing disease had already caused me and my family enough grief and loss and was unfortunately present once more. I signed up for the event with my now wife, her sister, my cousin, and my wife's cousin – he was our professional cyclist. We all know people who had fought or were still fighting cancer. My wife and I trained together, sometimes my cousin joined us. Luckily, after breaking my foot I had bought an E-MTB, because it would have been impossible to lug my weight up that mountain without support.
On the day of the event, we set off at 5.00 am. It was still dark, but it was so impressive to see all the people who had come together out of pure solidarity. At the first bend the road was decorated with dozens of small lanterns that shone beautifully. The whole route was marked with these lanterns. At 5.00 am there were already people at the side of the road cheering us on – it was a indescribable feeling. My personal highlight was hearing the bagpipes of the "Moosalp Highlands". Hearing that sound at dawn is magical! I had arranged to meet our families at the top, so we took our time on the way up.
My aunt, who was fighting cancer at the time, was also going to be there. It was a surprise for my cousin. He had no idea she was going to be there. At the top, we were met by our families and we enjoyed a beautiful day with the endorphins coursing through our bodies.
The whole atmosphere was incredible. There are no words to describe the experience. At least that's how I feel. I filmed some clips with my GoPro and later edited them to make a keepsake for me and my family
After successfully completing my first challenge, it was time to plan my trek in the Highlands. I was super excited - rarely have I experienced such wanderlust. I wanted to get away, feel the solitude and be alone with my thoughts. Don't get me wrong – I didn’t want to leave my life behind. But no one could help me process the past year and come to terms with the fact that I am now living with MS. I had to do that myself. Everything was planned. The flights and the hotel for the first and last evening were booked. I had all the gear and planned the route. I had watched countless vlogs about the WHW on YouTube – at this point I was convinced I didn’t even need a map!
Unfortunately, I came down with pneumonia (shit happens, right?) and I had to postpone my trip until May 2020 (haha… jokes on me, right? We all know what we were doing in May of 2020!).
Luckily, I had already chosen my challenge for 2020. It was something that really didn't suit my nature. I was set to run from Zermatt up to the Riffelberg in July 2020. Oh yes – I was going to run the Zermatt Half Marathon.
21.0975 kilometres and almost 1000 metres difference in altitude!
Anyone who knows me knows I don't enjoy running! Jogging is so boring. There is no point to it. The conversations I will be having with myself after around 6 km will probably be as follows:
Are you crazy? Why are you doing this? Sitting in a whirlpool would also be nice! etc.
Not a great conversation to have with oneself when you still have 15km to go. It’s not only the distance that is crazy, but the difference in altitude! Who in their right mind signs up for something like this in hopes to lose a couple of pounds? Nobody! I recommend losing the weight first and then running a half marathon – it makes more sense. Well, complaining doesn't help and who says A must say B.
Every year, Sodalis, my health insurance company, offers training plans and monthly group training sessions. My now wife and I took advantage of this offer and signed up. When I told some people about my challenge, they joked that I didn’t have a chance due to my weight. Well, I agree, but that is the whole point of challenging yourself.
As we all know, Covid-19 had other plans! The half marathon was of course cancelled. Secretly, I was relieved. I had gotten out of doing it without actually quitting. Don’t worry! They didn’t let me of the hook that easily. I was automatically given a starting position for 2021! There was no way around it now, but let’s say I wasn’t feeling very motivated.
In Autumn 2020 a new symptom of MS crept up on me. I was often extremely tired. Complete lack of motivation and lethargy took hold of my everyday life. I was tired and worn out, physically and mentally. To fight the physical fatigue, my doctors recommended endurance training at least 2, better 3 times a week. Hmmm... I guess training for a half marathon is endurance training.
I had to start from scratch and in early February 2021, my best man suggested we meet at least twice a week for a running session. The aim was to get into shape for our wedding suits. We met for the first time early on a Sunday morning. It was freezing! If our old coach had seen us, he probably wouldn't have believed his eyes. We stuck to it though. At first, we did more walking than running. But steadily we increased our pace. After running our first 5K, we upped the distance. During our first run with some elevation, I remembered why I don’t like running uphill.
And here we are now! Last week, ran the actual half marathon route. I didn’t make it all the way. I had to give up after about 15 or 16 km and gaining 850 metres in altitude. Today, I am 6 days away from the race. I have my doubts. Will I make it to the finish line? Will my body keep up? I am counting on adrenaline and the spectators to keep me going. I want to make it to the finish line. I want to prove to myself and everyone else that I can do it. I am going to show this disease who is in charge of this body. You got it – I am!
Wish me luck!
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